Becoming who we already are


"Purpose: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists."

Can we find our Purpose just by becoming the person we have always been? Stay with me here...

My children are 3 1/2 and 6 1/2 and they know who they are. They have known since they first took residence in my belly. Lucas (6 1/2)  is a lover. He loves with his whole heart with a fierce passion & an innocent sweetness that takes my breath away. He is also a joy seeker and everything he does, he does for joy. He wants to experience everything as fully and as deeply as he can, and because he is such a lover, he wants others to experience joy as well, so he is a joker and an entertainer, who sometimes doesn't know when to let the joke go. 

Wesley (3 1/2)  is "not cute, he is AWESOME." (And don't be fooled, he is so ridiculously cute that is all you can think of when you look at him). But he is cool in the "I don't care what you think of me" type of way. He is untouched by others opinion of him and knows who he is and what he is about. He is Batboy, a superhero, who dreams of saving the world. He clutches his toys, his characters, in his chubby little baby fingers even while sleeping. He is fully committed at all times and demands full commitment from everyone around him. There is no half-assing it with this child. Best use your full ass, at all times. He is passionate, and has an innate sweetness & a deep desire to make others happy, which makes him so beautifully vulnerable. 

My job, as a parent, is to nurture these little beings and usher them into adulthood somehow retaining their perfection in who they already are. And it feels daunting. I am still who I was at 3, but I've had to search for her. 

At what point, do we stop being who we actually are, and then have to search and hunt to find our way back to our inner knowing, inner being and resolute purpose that we all have innately inside of us? 

Why is finding what we were created to for such a challenging task? There are so many articles "Find your Purpose," "20 Questions to help you clarify your purpose", "7 Strange Questions that Help you Find your Life's Purpose" (definitely worth a read, you can find it here: https://markmanson.net/life-purpose.)

Why? At what point do humans forget why they are here and why does it take us into adulthood, (like mid 30s-early 40s) to find our way back to what we knew at 3? And how as a parent, do I not fuck that up for my children? Is it even possible? Is part of human-ness, forgetting what we cannot forget and having to struggle to remember what we are? 

There are rare humans who have purpose from day 1 and they never lose it...but for most of us, I would say we forget in our tween years and then really forget in our 20s...20s are for changing your religion 17 times, having many different relationships, turning your whites pink, changing your career choices (& hair color)  as often as you change your underpants, and basically stumbling through, thinking you are doing great at this adulting thing, while actual adults grab anything nailed down when you walk into the room so as not to be blown away in your maelstrom. (At least that was what my 20s were like...I was a hot mess, to say the least). 

Anyways...getting back on topic...maybe if we humans could relax into ourselves and feel back to what is innate in us, we would find who we truly are and in that, remember what we were created for. William Shakespeare said, "the meaning of life is to find your gift, the purpose of life is to give it away." Go inside, delve deep, and remember what your gifts are...and then shine them out and sprinkle them on every person you meet. 

Choose love, in every circumstance, in every action you take, in each moment. 


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